Setting Deep Inner Intentions for 2017

mandala-1

I have been continuously amazed at the effectiveness of setting an intention, developing a vision board, using affirmations, sketching a vision, setting a goal etc for me and for my clients since setting out on my life coaching journey in January 2015 .

The way I can best explain it is that when you are pregnant you suddenly notice pregnant women and babies everywhere; when you are about to buy a blue Mazda you notice blue Mazdas everywhere whereas before you were oblivious to that information!

Our brain chooses what to focus on and ignores the other 1000,000 bits of information coming in every second (just so we can function!!).  Fortunately, we can begin to program our brain to notice what we want to focus on and that is where the magic happens!!

‘Where attention goes, energy flows(Tara Brach)

We can choose whether to focus on the negative, what is NOT working….or we can choose to focus on what we want to create, the positives we want to bring into our life! We still need to acknowledge and sit with what is not working – but we can learn to do that in a proactive, healing way and not in a negative spiral, ruminating way… And then just by seeing, hearing, feeling cues of the future we want to create we begin to notice in our life new stimuli and new ways of creating the future we want…to me it still feels a little bit like magic – and I wish I had learned more about this years ago.

This year I was lucky enough to use Leonie Dawson’s Shining in Life & Shining in Biz workbooks and diary http://leoniedawson.com/ – where you acknowledge all that happened the year before, you plan for the year ahead and then you check in each month – what are you grateful for? What have you achieved? What will you do for you?  What is your intention for the next month?

Even though there were a series of weeks without checking in I am amazed at how much has happened this year that in January I set out to do!!!  I loved these workbooks so much I pre-ordered my 2017 copy and have them ready to go – they are colourful, they keep all your dreams, intentions & goals in one place & I can’t recommend them enough!! Perfect for dreaming in the Christmas to New Year break and starting with some of those new years resolutions….

shining-in-life-and-biz-workbooks

Tied in with these workbooks I also frequently make vision boards / mind maps, use daily affirmations, see my coach and use art / doodling to really help my subconscious brain access and work through the intentions I am setting…and I am so grateful that so much in my life is happening right now because of these intentions…

 ‘Plant seeds of deep intention and little by little things change’. Jack Kornfield

For me the most important thing we all can do is to focus on what sort of person we want to be and what we want to do in this world rather than what we want to own or have (see Brian Payne’s Goal Mapping).

To do this we need to set deep inner intentions…tune into our inner compass / heart wisdom and work out our deepest values and if  we are living by them? If not what are the obstacles?  And what can we do to live more by our values?  This is often a core part of coaching sessions – and for me it is a question I revisit daily….the way I want to live might not be reflected by what I actually do in the day….and it is powerful to keep coming back to my deepest intentions.

It’s a little bit like my parenting journey – every day I set the intention that I will be kind, calm, patient, loving, nurturing, strong when I need to be in a respectful way…and each day I have times of being able to do this and I also times of reverting back to old ways.   It’s impossible to be perfect, especially if you are having one of those days and you are tired and stressed!!  But if I look back over the last 18 years – then I truly have changed the way I parent just by setting the intention….even if I’m still not perfect every day !!

Heart Over Mind

One reason why I LOVE mindfulness is because a big focus is on cultivating more loving kindness, compassion, forgiveness, equanimity….and being mindful allows us to pause and be present, to really notice ‘what really matters to me?’ what is in my heart and to set an intention of what we want to bring more of into our life that day.

Mindfulness also gives me a chance to experience and practice forgiveness, loving kindness in meditation which then helps in bringing in into everyday real life!

As Brene Browns frequently says all we can do is aim in the right direction, we may never get there!! We are human, we’ll make mistakes and we won’t be perfect but we can aim in the direction that feels right!

This is why I LOVE the idea of setting deep intentions as the main way to set a course for our lives!  Specific goals can then come out of this….

So this coming year, 2017, I am running a series of monthly Heart Intention 2017 sessions where we will reflect on and share the future we want to create, what we have enjoyed and what we are grateful for this month and what we are ready to let go of….and in each of these monthly sessions we will do 2 mindfulness exercises and reflect on our deep intentions and draw them into a mandala; with each month having a slightly different flavour.  I can’t wait!  These sessions will work in beautifully for anyone using the Shining Workbooks (although not essential to have these) – and they can be accessed live and online.

heart-intentions-logo-2

More info  here at http://www.mindfulparentingmindfulcoaching.com/heart-intentions-20171

So I’m curious – what has worked for you this year to follow your heart, your inner compass?  What has eventuated that has surprised you?  And what are your intentions for 2017?  What tools can you use to keep them front and centre in your life?  I would love to know.

x Sara 🙂

PS The mandala above is A Flower Of Life mandala I made last week to celebrate and invite in more abundance – a lot of fun to make!

What to do when my kids are fighting?

Here’s 3 quick and effective strategies to use with sibling rivalry that I teach from Positive Discipline.

Fighting is an everyday occurrence in our house with 4 kids / teens! I’m amazed at how affected I am emotionally when my kids fight – it is often the time when I need to use all my mindfulness skills! And often when I am most stressed, tired or busy that it happens! (usually because my attention is elsewhere!).

These strategies have really helped me as a parent stay more mindful….and not get caught up in escalating the fight by coming in over the top of the kids! The strategies are not foolproof – but even if they only work 60% of the time they help to bring some more calm into our house which is great!

This video links in beautifully with my Dealing with BIG feelings video if you haven’t seen it yet? ….

 

The key thing I have learnt to do when my kids fight is to make sure everyone is safe and then negotiate with them what they will do to calm down (best agreed to before the fight happens!)….before we can even begin to talk about it!

What works at your house? What doesn’t work?

This is often a huge issue for the parents that come and see me for parent coaching or attend my workshops.

We discuss this issue a lot more in our online parenting class Resilient Families Thriving Kids – you can find out more and free trial some videos at www.mindfulparentingmindfulcoaching.com/onlineclasses or email me, Sara Phillips, Mum and Parent Coach on sara@mindfulparentingmindfulcoaching.com

#mindfulparenting #parenting #parentingtips #parents #parenthood #kids #mindfulness
#mumlife #mom #dad #mother #fatherhood #children #baby #coaching #coachinglife #siblings

How to find your inner calm & calm down your kids?

Being With Strong Emotion Pema Chodron's strategies

What do you do to stay calm or calm down?   I’d love to know what works for you…..

I had to use all the mindfulness skills available to me earlier this week to keep calm….and then when I erupted (oops!) – to recover quickly!  No-one can push our buttons like our kids can – and it is often when we are tired, stressed – or need to get to work on time….that we are pushed to our limits!   As Jane Nelson says in Positive Discipline we are aiming for a general direction NOT perfection…so no point beating ourselves up when we revert to old ways….and instead we need to keep practicing and keep noticing the times when we remember our new strategies…when we find a way to stay calm or calm down!

For me what worked this week was:

  • breathing,
  • focusing on my feet,
  • saying to myself this too will pass,
  • looking outside to the view…
  • then doing some LOUD breathing out…
  • then when I did erupt (unfortunately!) keeping it to ‘I’ statements –  limiting the  blame and shame….
  • and afterwards giving both kids huge hugs,
  • apologising for my reaction,
  • talking about what we can do the next morning to prevent the same scenario from happening again….
  • and for me to identify that I need more self-care / me-time so that I have more reserves for handling BIG issues as they come up!

I am passionate about the need for all parents to understand emotions – how they work? how our brains process them? how kids develop emotional intelligence? How we can use mindfulness to find our inner calm and to help our kids to calm down too?

Here is a video I made for our recent How To Talk So Kids Will Listen group on how to deal with Big Feelings.

I’m so excited to have a *NEW* short online course ‘Understanding Emotions’ – you can work through it at your own pace, when it is convenient for you – there are slides , videos & reflective questions to encourage deep learning!  I highly recommend it,  you can free trial some of the videos here  http://mindfulparentingmindfulcoachingonline.thinkific.com/courses/understandingemotions

I’d love your feedback!

Understanding emotions

 

Free Resource: If you would like FREE mindfulness prompts like the one above with strategies on how to deal with a STRONG feeling (yours or your kids) – please sign up at www.mindfulparentingmindfulcoaching.com or for recommended mindful parenting resources go to www.mindfulparentingmindfulcoaching.com/resources

 

#mindfulparenting #parenting #parentingtips #parents #parenthood #kids #mindfulness

#mumlife #mom #dad #mother #fatherhood #children #baby #coaching #coachinglife

3 Mindful Practices Online Course

rock cairn shutterstock

So excited the NEW Online 35 Minutes of Mindfulness Online Course is live…

it’s FREE and only 35 minutes long –
If you are keen to explore 3 different mindfulness practices – what would normally be in week 1 of our Mindfulness Practice class – here it is!

https://mindfulparentingmindfulcoachingonline.thinkific.com

I’d really welcome your feedback!!

Hope you are having a Mindful Moment!!

Cheers, Sara 🙂

 

Tuning in to our environment…

willy wagtail
Many indigenous cultures claim that it is important to listen to what the wildlife have to say to us… Since working in Central Australia – I’ve always felt an affinity with Willy Wagtails – yesterday as I was the sole person walking on the cold beach a Willy Wagtail came down to feed at the high tide waterline….I’d never seen one that close to the water before….and he wasn’t shy…he would flutter away just a few metres ahead of me and wait as if I was to follow him?
 
My mind was filled with work as I walked but seeing this Willy Wagtail made me pause – and then I remembered to ask ‘Do you have a message for me?” and I listened…and deep within my heart was the message: let go of work, pay attention to these beautiful surroundings and live a little, dance a little, just as this willy wagtail was keen for me to do!
 
It was a beautiful wake up call, and got me out of my headspace and into my heartspace – and I left the beach feeling really grateful to this cheeky bird for the interruption to my thoughts, for the bringing me back to the present moment, for the gratitude that welled up in my heart.
 
So I’m wondering, what is in your environment right now? What can you tune into? And what inner words of wisdom can you hear when you pause?
 
Cheers, Sara 🙂