I was in a lot of pain recently, waiting for the pain relief to kick in when I realised I was fighting it with my mind ( ‘oh no what if I can’t…..I don’t want to feel like this…..this is so unfair…..why me?…..will this make it go away? ‘ Etc). Suddenly I remembered mindfulness so I allowed myself to label the pain ‘I am in pain’ and to sit with it, accept it and it was amazing to feel the shift, to really feel the space around the pain widen and expand, to feel that there was more to the situation than just the pain, to feel that it was impermanent and that it would be OK! Of course I couldn’t be so zen about it all of the time….my mind would kick in and resist but just to have a few moments of peace, of going back into thinking ‘it is as it is’ made it more manageable!
I also remembered something a friend once told me re: childbirth which was the pain will always ebb and flow so that you can follow the peaks and troughs….manage the peak of pain and then allow yourself to relax in the trough….and keep this cycle of manage and relax! This worked really well in my daughter’s birth but also this morning too….watching for the peak, relaxing when it ebbed even though the pain is continuous….
Fortunately I didn’t have to wait long for the pain relief to work so my suffering was short….and I am not sure I could do any of this in severe pain…..but it was good to see some of those mindfulness strategies at work? Are there other strategies that you have used?
I’ve been very lucky to have supervision at work with Sue G. who also teaches / practices mindfulness. Together we have come up with some great ideas on how to be a little more mindful at work:
- Mindfulness Bell clock on the computer (download for free and create your own timing). This is a great little reminder to breathe and scan your body for tension
- Take your shoes off, feel the carpet with your feet, walk to printer feeling the floor beneath you
- 10 minute meditation at lunchtime
- Breathe in your tea / coffee and do a quick body scan
I’m amazed at how UNAWARE I can still be of my body / tension at work but at least these strategies are helping me tune in occasionally!! I’d love to know some other strategies…
Phew….it’s tricky getting back into getting everyone (including me!) to work and school on time! Something I have found so useful….especially when we are running late and I want to deliver that all-time lecture to the kids!….is to breathe out to the very last bit of air I have at least 3 times! For a more effective calming (&funnier) effect I will even buzz like a bee for 3 full breaths out! The effect of this is amazing….I feel calmer and the whole car atmosphere is alot calmer too (generally kids are laughing)!
These strategies come from an amazing parenting programme called Bringing Up Great Kids where they use the research from Dan Siegel that reflects that just 3 breaths can calm us down enough to begin to respond creatively and calmly to our kids rather than from our usual fight / flight / freeze highly charged response!
Google Flipping the Lid or Brain in the Hand for some great short video explanations of how our brains work and how we can calm them down! It really works! My aim this year is to teach my kids more about how their brain works so they too can learn how to calm them selves down! I’ll keep you posted!