From this in 2000…
This time of year is always a great time to reflect on endings and beginnings…I love that pause between the 2 years…..hopefully with a holiday, so there is time for rest, recharging, recovering, reflection & fingers crossed, relaxation, before a New Year fully begins!
This year, though, is a HUGE transition for me, as my 18-year-old son, my eldest, prepares to leave home to study at University!
I guess it’s not surprising that if I found the transition to becoming a Mum hard and an emotional rollercoaster…then maybe the transition to being a Mum of a nearly independent adult, leaving home, will also be a roller coaster too?
They say the more you do your mindfulness practice the more intensely you feel emotions (I can attest to that!) but the more quickly they pass through you (here’s hoping!)
I am surprised at the depth of my emotions….as yet hardly untapped….I’m sure that will come when there is more time to reflect! I remember reading that every change, every transition, even the joyful ones, can bring some grief…some sadness too.
My friend, Kerrin, used to use the word ‘bittersweet’ to describe those parenting moments when your child makes a leap of development or independence… and you experience a rush of pride and joy and a little sadness that they are growing up too!
I’m sure for each of us parents those moments are different! I felt it when I gave away the cot, the pram, the backpack (but not the highchairs or car seats!!), the first day of primary school, the first day of high school, getting the drivers licence, last day of high school and now here we are, facing leaving home and starting at Uni – WOW!How did that happen?
Such a weird time distortion….all those days as a Mum of a young baby when time ticked very slowly…and each day felt the same…..and now here I am, 18 years later, wondering where that time went? It seems to have gone in the blink of an eye! Did I enjoy and appreciate that time enough? Have I passed on enough teachings, enough values, enough love?
I remember as I held George as a baby, while camping and not coping at all with the sleep deprivation, a woman in her late 50’s came up to me with tears in her eyes and said ‘those are the best years of your life!‘ I wanted to throttle her and cry at the same time!!
Yet I am forever grateful at that reminder to be present to what is here….as very quickly it will change!
Now I find myself looking at Mums with toddlers, and I have rose coloured glasses on thinking ‘aaaaaaahhhhh‘ forgetting that, here too, right now, are my just as precious years with teenagers and an almost independent adult… This time too needs to be appreciated, I need to be present…..and soak up this time before it too, quickly goes!
So the next question is how to mark this transition for my son and for me…what rituals and rites of passage can I do to make the transition easier? How can I celebrate such a moment and also allow myself to grieve a little at this new transition? I look forward to pondering that over the Christmas & New Year break!
I wish you and your family a relaxing, recharging and restful break and I hope you get a chance to reflect on any transitions coming up for you, whether it is a child starting or finishing school, whether it is a new job or returning to work? I’d love to hear your ideas of how you are going to mark that transition and celebrate and grieve any new changes/rites of passage coming your way! And I’m wondering how you can stay present within those changes and appreciate what is there, no matter what the emotion? Therein lies the challenge!
The best years of your life are now!?
Best wishes for a mindful start to 2018 x Sara 🙂
To this in 2017….